Parenting is not easy –, especially for mothers. You can get overwhelmed and exhausted with the consistent hassle and it’s completely okay to snap or yell a little. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother or your child deserves better than you.
Motherhood is challenging at every step and tends to question your patience, strength, and stamina every single minute. If you are not able to live up to the expectations you have created in your mind, it’s not a big deal. What you have done and are doing is more than enough.
The “mom guilt” is rather common, and if you think you are the only mother to feel insufficient – think again. It’s important to understand that you cannot win everywhere all the time when you enter into motherhood. You are only going to exhaust yourself out if you don’t stop trying to perfect your parenting.
Mothers often feel guilty about giving themselves time or doing something for their own self, thinking that their complete attention should be focused on their child. If they failed to do so, it will affect their child’s grooming.
You’re doing a great job and giving yourself some attention doesn’t make you a bad mother. Let’s address this “mom guilt” and make you see how your present parenting efforts are more than sufficient for your child and you’ve no reason to feel overwhelmed.
You’re maternity leave is up and now you have to get back on the 9-5 grind.
The guilt that surfaces about leaving your newborn behind at home, while you’re at work is referred to as the mom guilt. This includes worrying about how you’d be able to function at work and give your baby the time and attention they need. Prioritizing one over another or unable to balance both the things leads towards getting overwhelmed and anxious.
Mom guilt can strike at any point of time in motherhood. It could be right after the maternity leave, on a weekend when you reprimand your child for messing the room up, after having a verbal spat with your teenage child, or leaving your child behind for an hour to visit your friends. Any similar incident can spark guilt in you that you haven’t done enough for them and you may start questioning your parenting. This builds pressure on you and compels you to put more effort into becoming a better mother.
The feeling of guilt is actually an analysis of your behavior. When you start focusing on what you did and feel shame in doing so, it means you’re beginning to feel guilty about it.
I didn’t make the food of his liking. I am a bad mother.
I left my baby in the daycare. How awful for a mother to do so!
Susan’s baby is smarter than my daughter. She must have given her more attention than I did!
This happens with a majority of mothers who judge themselves and compare them to other women. They start to believe that every negative thought about them is right.
So, if you find yourself criticizing yourself and negative thoughts making frequent visits to your mind, it means you’re suffering from mom guilt.
Living with mom guilt is unhealthy for you. It only adds up to your depression and stress and coerces you to overdo yourself. This can have negative effects on your physical and mental health. We have some effective solutions to address this guilt and help you live a healthy and happy life with your kids.
When you become a mother, you naturally develop the strong instincts of caring and protecting your child. You want to guard them against every harm that might come their way and give them the best you can. But, there’s no such thing as perfection when it comes to parenting.
So, tell yourself that what you’re doing is enough and the best in your capacity. Don’t overdo yourself because there always will be lacking. Let go of the guilt and continue doing what you can do best.
Self-acceptance is the key. You’ve to acknowledge yourself and your efforts to step out of the guilt. Be empathic towards yourself and know where your thoughts are going. Stop negativity from prevailing and respond to yourself with kindness.
More than perfectionism, you need resilience to make it through motherhood. Mom guilt can be persistent in its invasions. You have to develop your defense and stick to it. Fighting off depressive feelings and thoughts is difficult. But once you stop trying to run after perfectionism, you’ll see things simplifying themselves.
Taking care of children is important, but so is taking care of you. Mothers often ignore their own needs and wish to give more time to their kids. This makes a major contribution to mom guilt when they start thinking that spending time on their own is making them a bad parent. Make time for yourself and take care of your needs.
Socialize with your friends, sleep well and eat healthily. You’ll be surprised with the wonders these simple things can do and make a positive impact on your parenting. When you’re relaxed and healthy, you ultimately develop more patience and calmness to deal with your children.
Do what makes you happy and you will see how the entire atmosphere of your home changes. You are the center of your family. If you are content, everybody else is too. So, don’t let the guilt pull your family back. Embrace happiness and be satisfied with what you are doing. Because it is good enough!
“A happy mother is a good mother, and if work makes you hum, your whole family sings along.” -Sharon Meers
To read more on parenting and motherhood, visit our website.